09.26.06
Posted in Inspiration at 2:22 am by Administrator
In posting the letter - Forget Love and Try Good Manners, from ‘The Divine Secrets Of The Ya Ya Sister Hood’- and doing some reading and contemplating this weekend (how odd *smile*) it has occurred to me how very true the statement is “Forget Love, Try Good Manners.” In observing couples and the way they treat each other…the question posed is “Why do you stay?” The answer invariably is “Because I love him/her.” Give me a break! And, in talking to friends and letting them know that I am dating again and intentionally searching for the love that comes from being connected to another soul, I hear very often ~maybe from the ones that aren’t happy~ “maybe in your search you will realize you are better off single.” I am very well off single. I love being single. I love being independent and self sufficient, I love taking off on a Friday night and doing my thing…not reporting to anyone. But I miss being in a monogamous relationship. I miss the connection to that one other human being that you can count on and has your back no matter what. The one who looks for you and wants to be with you and you with them. Because you enjoy them! Because you want to be in their company! Because you respect them! Because you have compassion and genuinely care what is going on and what happens to them. So, back to my original thought. Love has nothing to do with it if you haven’t learned how to love. If you haven’t learned how to love~in a genuine, honest, thoughtful, you mean the world to me way~ Start with good manners.
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09.17.06
Posted in Encouragement at 6:17 am by Administrator
-Taken from “Excavating Your Authentic Self” by Sarah Ban Breathnach
I wish I’d known from the beginning that I was born a strong woman. What a difference it would have made! I wish I’d known that I was born a courageous woman; I’ve spent so much of my life cowering. How many conversations would I not only have started, but finished, if I had known I possessed a warriors heart? I wish I’d known that I’d been born to take on the world; I wouldn’t have run from it for so long, but run to it with open arms!
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09.10.06
Posted in My Life at 4:13 am by Administrator
In listening to relationship therapists, that seem to be coming out of the woodwork these days, what they seem to be saying to the women and girls are ~You are not a Princess and you are not going to have a Knight in Shining Armor come and rescue you ~End of Fairy Tale. So now what do we do? Re-write?
I am becoming more and more aware, in my search for Mr. Lovely, of how many single moms, in particular, there are. Hence a bigger need for Knights on White Horses but also an increasing number of women who are strong, independent, self sufficient, and in charge of the household. Speaking for myself, this has been an 8 year learning process. One that I have not been happy about at times and one I have actually been very angry about at times. I did not ask to be head of household. I did not ask to raise these kids on my own. I did not ask to be totally in charge and independent.
No wonder men are confused and women are crazy! Nobody knows how to act anymore. All these little girls growing up with the same fairy tales the boys were read. Okay, the same basic story line one was just called Snow White and one was called Robin Hood. Same story, one written from the guys point of view and one written by the damsel-in-distrss herself.
So, we are coming more into a day where we women just need a partner. A loving, respectful, considerate, let me be me and you be you partner. This should take the pressure off the guys to some extent. They no longer have to know how to resuce. They now just have to know how to be a friend. And that would include knowing when to give a hug and knowing when to back off. I just said we didn’t need a rescuer, I never said we weren’t still emotional females.
And you, my man, can still go hunting. Or watch ESPN. Or scratch yourself. Or have your friends over and talk too loud and make disgusting noises. And I will still let you wash the cars and do the yard work. Remember, I agree there are male and female roles. I just can’t do the damsel-in-distress.
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