12.25.07
Posted in Inspiration at 6:39 am by Administrator
A woman who is convinced that she deserves to accept only the best ~challenges herself to give the best.
Then she is living phenomenally. -Maya Angelou
Love it, Girlfriends! Remember to take care of YOU! Remember to soak in a hot bath with a cold glass of ice water at your side. Remember to light the candles and put on some old soft rock, jazz -whatever makes your heart sing- and just breath. Remember to stretch. Sit up a little straighter and get the kinks out. Remember your facial moisturizer -okay, that is to make you smile-…
Whatever it is you are doing this season, just Celebrate! For some it is Christmas and for some it may be other traditions or meaningful times, but remember to Celebrate! Celebrate being the woman you are, the friends in your life and the joy that comes from living a life phenomenally! -Rachel
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12.17.07
Posted in My Life at 12:03 pm by Administrator
I began 2007 a single woman. After having dated a man through the holidays last year, and those being the lonliest holidays of the last 8 years, I stepped back and thought maybe I was trying too hard. I had intentionally quit dating for 2.5 years, began dating intentionally the summer of 2006 and had come to the end of the year feeling stronger and more sure of what I knew I needed in a man. Also realizing I had dated alot and was tired of it. I decided to stop ‘looking’.
I had put myself out in cyber-space. Dating online ~ Match.com, Eharmony, meeting guys on Myspace ~ and I have to say, I met some of the nicest guys. Really. Interesting, each different and each showing me qualities I would love to bring together into one, Mister Lovely. But I knew when to let go. I knew when to say we didn’t need to date any longer. It was nice to be aware enough that I would not stay one day longer than was necessary to know. Except through the holidays. It was sad. No phone call on Thanksgiving-okay, we had just started dating, he was with his family. No show at my 40th birthday-okay, his daughter was in town and he has little enough time with her. Ignored the week from Christmas to New Years eve. Not okay ladies! Back to my old adage..”It Either Is Or It Isn’t”…nice as he was when he took me out, this was just wrong. Or, as my sister-in-law likes to point out, “Greg was just a bad idea.” Thank you, Tammy.
So, Linda-Girls-Mister Jim, Thank you for hosting the New Years Eve Party 2006, sorry I left-in tears. But when I called my date-Greg-to meet him for the evening, and he wanted to know what I thought of our dating, I took the opportunity to tell him. Yes ladies, in love and compassion.
So, the 2nd week of January, out steps Mr. Sweet Spirit. I had known him several months and in fact, he and I had confided about this guy or that and his relationship that had just ended. So we had established a friendship base. When he asked if I had talked to Greg I responded “Why?” Move on, God has something really great planned so why go back to not great. I told Mr. Sweet Spirit I had decided to quit dating -Tired of shaving my legs, tired of putting on make-up, tired of trying to get to know someone. Mr. Sweet Spirit responded “So, do you want to go to Buffalo Wild Wings Friday night?” Well yes, of course I do! And did for the next 10 months.
This has been a nice year spent with Mr. Sweet Spirit. I have kept my eyes open, spoke up when something wasn’t okay and stayed open and honest about this relationship. The biggest not okay was his inability to commit. Yes, we got along great. Great chemistry. Laughed. And I was able to see where I didn’t stay true to myself sometimes…I can be a little intense and I tried to reserve! So finely, a few weeks ago I had to tell him I thought we should let go. I am looking for a love. A partner. A companion. And yes, Destin deserves him to be a dad as well. I don’t require much. Emotional intimacy~openness on all levels, honesty, sharing~This seems to be the big hurdle. I’m thinking 10 months is quite long enough to know if you are moving forward in a relationship. Mr. Sweet Spirit said it was sad I thought it was long enough. He liked things the way they were. Yes, because everything is good for you. Everything is not good for me and I need to move on.
It took a couple weeks to let him go. We tried to stay friends. He continued to call -almost on a daily basis. He came over for dinner on Monday night. Me, I am holding out hope he will come to his senses and realize I am the better for him. Not happening. When I didn’t hear from him between Thursday morning to Monday morning, I knew I had to let him go for good. The friendship thing was only going one way. He wasn’t available when I needed him to be yet I was still there for him. Not okay. He came over for dinner, brought me a beautiful birthday present and I asked him how his date was that weekend. He looked at me and said “I didn’t want to tell you that way.” Well, how did you want to tell me? I know Mr. Sweet Spirit too well. Great looking, kind, sweet, doesn’t want to be alone. Of course he was going to be out on a date. Yes, it hurt. But we had moved apart. He was allowed to date. I just knew, at that moment, that we couldn’t continue to stay attached. Emotionally. I would not be the other woman. I would not stay in the middle of a new relationship he was choosing to pursue. I will not be that hurt for someone else. So, having spent 3 weeks trying, I finely let Mr. Sweet Spirit go. No more holding on to hope that he would come to his senses. No more hoping for him to profess his love for me. I need room for Mr. Lovely. Mr. Whole Package. Mr. Emotionally Open. Mr. Whatever His Name Will Be. Mister who wants to know my heart and soul. Mister who supports my passions. He doesn’t have to understand them, that is what I have girlfriends for!
In hindsight - along with staying aware of what was good in a man and what was not okay, I have become more sure of what is meant for me. And I didn’t choose to stop seeing Mr. Sweet Spirit because there was someone else to date. I just knew there was no room for Mister Lovely if there was an emotional attachment to Mr. Anybody else. Thus my having learned The Art Of Letting Go.
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12.15.07
Posted in My Life at 7:00 pm by Administrator
Jordan Elizabeth,
How do you even begin to put what is in your heart down on paper when you are wanting someone to understand the depth of an emotion or the existence of a love that is indescribable.
When you were born it was just you and me. I had such a desire to protect you and keep you from hurting. As you grew I began to realize I couldn’t keep you from the hurt, nor would I want to. It is from those times that we are able to grow -as long as we stay open to the learning and focus on what is good even in the pain.
I have seen you with your girlfriends, even the girls you have been friends with since you were 4 years old. The way that you have grown into a woman (yes I have to consider you one) and have been a friend with them all this time. Today at your home, hearing them talk about what you mean to them. That they are able to trust you. That you are truthful with them even if they may not want to hear it. That you are aware enough to speak the truth in love. That you are aware enough to know you are speaking it in love. For one of my best girlfriends to say about you that you are lovable. That she would say you make her smile and bring her joy when she is around you.
For anyone to say that you are mature and responsible is the truth. I want to add to that and say you are not grown. You are still loving being a teenager and loving being a Senior in high school ~Yet you also love being independent, making decisions on you own or in unison with Michael. Such as mature adults do. I see a balance with you. I see you continuing to grow and change. And enjoying the change as you grow. I see you open to spiritual things in life and that brings me a great amount of Joy.
How would I ever have known ~ 18 years ago ~ that I would be blessed to Mother such a sweet and wonderful Spirit. That I would admire and appreciate you for so many reasons. Reasons that could never be simple and perhaps never understood.
So I will leave it at this for now. Knowing words are only words. And I will continue to give you space to grow. As I hope I have always done. And I will continue to watch you and admire you. And I will continue to learn what it is to care about another human being and not have the words tell.
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12.05.07
Posted in Encouragement at 4:01 pm by Administrator
Regardless of how we choose to look at our fears- whether we have caused our own problems or are simply caught in the snares of others’, whether we are blindsided by a sudden crises or have been running from one for a long time-we have three choices…
1. Ignore it and hope it will go away~ It Won’t
2. Try and live with it~ Not Forever
3. Look for the gift within our fear and benefit from it. When we do, we emerge on the other side of life, surprised by joy!
~Taken from the book Excavating your Authentic Self -Sarah Ban Breathnach
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12.02.07
Posted in My Life at 12:10 pm by Administrator
Written to me from my Soul Sister, Stephanie
December 02, 2006
For you this your 40th birthday ought to be a sun overriding all the other stars. Rarely, have I seen resolve such as yours - touching with your gentle laugh the scars yielded in battles you’ve won. Happy birthday, dearest one, precious soul - sister of my heart! We’re one in love and joy, in fondness and worth … and so as one we celebrate this day, your day of birth! Rejoice in your specialness awhile: this I’m not requesting but demanding! How else to make yourself the celebration, doing what doesn’t come naturally? I hope that throughout this month of December, our birth month, you find joy, surprises, laughter and love … all of which you deserve in great abundance … all of which you have shown me since the day we met. To discover my soul-sister throughout the last 4 years has been one of the most wonderful and treasured surprises of all! You make me laugh, regardless of what else may be going on in life. That’s a priceless gift; one I can never repay you for. It’s no secret how much I value laughter in life; you’ve shown me many wonderful laughs, just by being yourself, and saying what’s on your mind. Another Rachel attribute that I admire, and has me wishing I could have more of in my own life. So today, and throughout this month, I celebrate your birth, and my good fortune in finding the precious gift of your friendship. Happy Birthday, Girlfriend! And here’s to many, many more years of friendship and laughter! ~ LYMI!
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