It’s Been Called The Gift Of Gab!
Don’t look now, Lord! I don’t want you to see me standing here with my big foot crammed in my mouth.
Don’t worry, child. If I didn’t love you just as much with your foot in your mouth, I’d hardly ever get a chance to love you. ~Susan L. Lenzkes
Okay, so you have asked. And you have given God a time limit. Because what you perceive as good timing is all you are thinking about. What you are needing right now is all you are seeing. It is the bigger picture that you can’t see. It is what God is working out for good all around you and in other lives that you are having to wait on. So, you “Ask and Ye Shall Receive” and then you “Let Go And Let God“ and then “Wait Upon The Lord”.
What I am saying is. Ask for what you want. And it isn’t about asking for money. What is it that money would bring? A peace about your bills? Loosening up the pocket book a little so you can go to Target? Being able to give the way you have always felt you should? It isn’t about asking for a man. They aren’t too hard to find. So get clear about what it is you are really asking for. The root of what more money would give you. The companionship that a relationship would bring. Then “Let Go And Let God”. Don’t pick it back up. Get clear about what you are really asking for and hold that thought. Notice how it feels to have money in the bank. Notice how it feels to have financial freedom. Notice how it feels to hand a check to the cause that concerns you most. Now claim it. As if it is already true. Continue to hold that until. Until it manifests in the physical what you have already claimed in the spiritual. Wondering what is taking so long? Not your job. That split second thought needs to immediately be replaced with what you already know to be true. The thought and the feeling you have when you asked and claimed this. When you let the negative climb back in to your conscious thinking, you are giving power to that negative thought. You are sliding back into the lack. I don’t have it. I am never going to get it. God doesn’t answer my prayers. Now where are you? Right back at the beginning. Start over. Ask again. Now let go and let God. Now wait upon the Lord. Sometimes it helps to keep the excitement when you get a hold of the thought and the feeling that goes along with the thought. And then take your imagination and think about all the people God is working on and through while you are waiting. What is God putting in place while you are holding the truth in thought and feeling. I know while I continued to ask God for a husband. I would feel like time was running out. Okay, I have been single for 3 years now. That is quite long enough. I am lonely. I am wanting to be a wife. Okay, I have been single for 6 years now. Quite long enough! I am ready for that loving relationship. Wow. The 7th year into it and I had to start healing. I didn’t realize how angry I had been at Tracy for leaving me. In death even. Now I couldn’t tell him how mad I was. I couldn’t get in his face and blame him for my hurt and anger. I had to deal with it on my own. And I did. And then I got peace about being single. For over 9 years now. And in the meantime, the past 2 years, my prayer changed. Yes, I still asked for a husband. Yes, I still asked to be a wife. However, my prayer became one of thanksgiving. Thanking God for the husband he was preparing for me. Thanking God for preparing me, in the meantime, to be the wonderful, loving wife that this fabulous man would deserve. Becoming thankful, truly thankful, and excited! Excited about the love that is and is going to be. The prayer that is being answered right now, even if my menial little brain can’t wrap around the process. Or why the process has to take so long. I am excited as I watch God’s plan for my life unfold all around me. As I ask in each little area of my life. As I take what I ask, hold the thought and desire and claim it, as I “Ask and I Shall Receive“ as I “Let go and Let God” and then as I “Wait Upon The Lord“.
The Four Agreements®
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Everything we do is based on agreements we have made - agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth.”
“In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible.”
In this powerful book that has remained on The New York Times Bestseller List for over five years, don Miguel reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. When we are ready to change these agreements, there are four deceptively simple, yet powerful agreements that we can adopt as guiding principles. The Four Agreements® offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. www.miguelruiz.comAvoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
It’s been a good day, Lord. Yes, a very good day. I didn’t realize it while it was happening. There were many frustrations. I was very discouraged when the letter I was praying for didn’t come. Then the telephone rang, bringing good news.
When a child was carried home from the playground hurt and we rushed him to the hospital, you knew my awful fears. But to learn that it wasn’t really serious brought a sense of heightened joy. (Sheer releif can generate sheer bliss.)
So now the child is asleep, with the bandage slipped rather comically from his head. My husband stands in the yard, leaning on his rake as he visits with a neighbor.
Other children come spilling across the yard. The sun is a golden glory behind the trees. I can smell the pot roast mingling with the tangy fragrance of burning leaves.
I look back on this day with its usual ups and downs. Its moments of anguish, and its moments of gratefulness and joy. And now that it’s ending, an aching awareness fills me. I realize that it’s been a good day, Lord. A very good day.
For it’s been filled with life. The life you have given me to cope with, and to contribute to. And I wouldn’t want to have missed it, not a single moment of it. Thank you, God for this good day. ~Marjorie Holmes
This is a letter written to Linda from her girlfriend, Kendra. The story behind the letter is one that most of us would recognize. Many will be able to empathize with Linda or cheer for Kendra and hopefully all of us will enjoy a part of it. Beautifully written Kendra! You make me smile!
Sister, I am so sad that Michael is now having such a reversal in his surety. Seems like this is a trend since August with many couples going through separations. I empathize with your tender spirit and the aching of your heart resonates with my own pulse. I swear, when I finally get to meet whoever is writing this life script, I am going to have words with the Celestial Sadists. You sound so brave, it shames my own tendency toward tantrums, keening and wailing, gnashing teeth and renting my clothes. I do aspire to keep my vision, but I am weak and easily suffer the Aires-born childlike pangs from abandonment and fury from injustice. I mean, what, pray tell, is there NOT to love about us? We are extraordinary women, far evolved in all aspects, ready to recognize and treat our partners as divine beings. If I ever am accused again of being TOO KIND or TOO LOVING, I believe I shall instantly morph into the Tasmanian Devil and show my accusers ass what base instincts thrive in this redhead’s soul. Is it that we must truly be manic for them to want to stay? Sigh… I spent way too many years battling my darker side, and now I find it’s the attractive one. What’s a woman to do?
And so I breathe. And you breathe. And we dance and pray and light our candles to keep the darkness at bay. And find our shredded hearts mended by our womenfolk. Were I there I would rock you in my arms and stroke your hair until you had had enough.
I pray, FERVENTLY, that this year is a year of reaping our just rewards in love and in life. May Michael’s veil of doubt be burned away by his awareness of the bounty he has in your love. And soon. The waiting for what is to be is cruel.
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk.I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you. Staying attached to you. I mean, hang up the phone!When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay. Let them go.And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person. It just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.You’ve got to know when it’s dead. You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift. I believe in good-bye.It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat, I don’t need it! Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for you life, then you need to let it go! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains, let it go! If someone can’t treat you right, love you back and see your worth, let it go! If someone has angered you, let it go! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge, let it go! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction, let it go! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents, let it go! If you have a bad attitude, let it go! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better, let it go! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship, let it go! If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves, let it go! If you’re feeling depressed and stressed, let it go! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying “take your hands of of it,” then you need to let it go! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. God is doing a new thing! Let it go! ~Bishop TD Jakes
A woman who is convinced that she deserves to accept only the best ~challenges herself to give the best.
Then she is living phenomenally. -Maya Angelou
Love it, Girlfriends! Remember to take care of YOU! Remember to soak in a hot bath with a cold glass of ice water at your side. Remember to light the candles and put on some old soft rock, jazz -whatever makes your heart sing- and just breath. Remember to stretch. Sit up a little straighter and get the kinks out. Remember your facial moisturizer -okay, that is to make you smile-…
Whatever it is you are doing this season, just Celebrate! For some it is Christmas and for some it may be other traditions or meaningful times, but remember to Celebrate! Celebrate being the woman you are, the friends in your life and the joy that comes from living a life phenomenally! -Rachel
I began 2007 a single woman. After having dated a man through the holidays last year, and those being the lonliest holidays of the last 8 years, I stepped back and thought maybe I was trying too hard. I had intentionally quit dating for 2.5 years, began dating intentionally the summer of 2006 and had come to the end of the year feeling stronger and more sure of what I knew I needed in a man. Also realizing I had dated alot and was tired of it. I decided to stop ‘looking’.
I had put myself out in cyber-space. Dating online ~ Match.com, Eharmony, meeting guys on Myspace ~ and I have to say, I met some of the nicest guys. Really. Interesting, each different and each showing me qualities I would love to bring together into one, Mister Lovely. But I knew when to let go. I knew when to say we didn’t need to date any longer. It was nice to be aware enough that I would not stay one day longer than was necessary to know. Except through the holidays. It was sad. No phone call on Thanksgiving-okay, we had just started dating, he was with his family. No show at my 40th birthday-okay, his daughter was in town and he has little enough time with her. Ignored the week from Christmas to New Years eve. Not okay ladies! Back to my old adage..”It Either Is Or It Isn’t”…nice as he was when he took me out, this was just wrong. Or, as my sister-in-law likes to point out, “Greg was just a bad idea.” Thank you, Tammy.
So, Linda-Girls-Mister Jim, Thank you for hosting the New Years Eve Party 2006, sorry I left-in tears. But when I called my date-Greg-to meet him for the evening, and he wanted to know what I thought of our dating, I took the opportunity to tell him. Yes ladies, in love and compassion.
So, the 2nd week of January, out steps Mr. Sweet Spirit. I had known him several months and in fact, he and I had confided about this guy or that and his relationship that had just ended. So we had established a friendship base. When he asked if I had talked to Greg I responded “Why?” Move on, God has something really great planned so why go back to not great. I told Mr. Sweet Spirit I had decided to quit dating -Tired of shaving my legs, tired of putting on make-up, tired of trying to get to know someone. Mr. Sweet Spirit responded “So, do you want to go to Buffalo Wild Wings Friday night?” Well yes, of course I do! And did for the next 10 months.
This has been a nice year spent with Mr. Sweet Spirit. I have kept my eyes open, spoke up when something wasn’t okay and stayed open and honest about this relationship. The biggest not okay was his inability to commit. Yes, we got along great. Great chemistry. Laughed. And I was able to see where I didn’t stay true to myself sometimes…I can be a little intense and I tried to reserve! So finely, a few weeks ago I had to tell him I thought we should let go. I am looking for a love. A partner. A companion. And yes, Destin deserves him to be a dad as well. I don’t require much. Emotional intimacy~openness on all levels, honesty, sharing~This seems to be the big hurdle. I’m thinking 10 months is quite long enough to know if you are moving forward in a relationship. Mr. Sweet Spirit said it was sad I thought it was long enough. He liked things the way they were. Yes, because everything is good for you. Everything is not good for me and I need to move on.
It took a couple weeks to let him go. We tried to stay friends. He continued to call -almost on a daily basis. He came over for dinner on Monday night. Me, I am holding out hope he will come to his senses and realize I am the better for him. Not happening. When I didn’t hear from him between Thursday morning to Monday morning, I knew I had to let him go for good. The friendship thing was only going one way. He wasn’t available when I needed him to be yet I was still there for him. Not okay. He came over for dinner, brought me a beautiful birthday present and I asked him how his date was that weekend. He looked at me and said “I didn’t want to tell you that way.” Well, how did you want to tell me? I know Mr. Sweet Spirit too well. Great looking, kind, sweet, doesn’t want to be alone. Of course he was going to be out on a date. Yes, it hurt. But we had moved apart. He was allowed to date. I just knew, at that moment, that we couldn’t continue to stay attached. Emotionally. I would not be the other woman. I would not stay in the middle of a new relationship he was choosing to pursue. I will not be that hurt for someone else. So, having spent 3 weeks trying, I finely let Mr. Sweet Spirit go. No more holding on to hope that he would come to his senses. No more hoping for him to profess his love for me. I need room for Mr. Lovely. Mr. Whole Package. Mr. Emotionally Open. Mr. Whatever His Name Will Be. Mister who wants to know my heart and soul. Mister who supports my passions. He doesn’t have to understand them, that is what I have girlfriends for!
In hindsight - along with staying aware of what was good in a man and what was not okay, I have become more sure of what is meant for me. And I didn’t choose to stop seeing Mr. Sweet Spirit because there was someone else to date. I just knew there was no room for Mister Lovely if there was an emotional attachment to Mr. Anybody else. Thus my having learned The Art Of Letting Go.
Jordan Elizabeth,
How do you even begin to put what is in your heart down on paper when you are wanting someone to understand the depth of an emotion or the existence of a love that is indescribable.
When you were born it was just you and me. I had such a desire to protect you and keep you from hurting. As you grew I began to realize I couldn’t keep you from the hurt, nor would I want to. It is from those times that we are able to grow -as long as we stay open to the learning and focus on what is good even in the pain.
I have seen you with your girlfriends, even the girls you have been friends with since you were 4 years old. The way that you have grown into a woman (yes I have to consider you one) and have been a friend with them all this time. Today at your home, hearing them talk about what you mean to them. That they are able to trust you. That you are truthful with them even if they may not want to hear it. That you are aware enough to speak the truth in love. That you are aware enough to know you are speaking it in love. For one of my best girlfriends to say about you that you are lovable. That she would say you make her smile and bring her joy when she is around you.
For anyone to say that you are mature and responsible is the truth. I want to add to that and say you are not grown. You are still loving being a teenager and loving being a Senior in high school ~Yet you also love being independent, making decisions on you own or in unison with Michael. Such as mature adults do. I see a balance with you. I see you continuing to grow and change. And enjoying the change as you grow. I see you open to spiritual things in life and that brings me a great amount of Joy.
How would I ever have known ~ 18 years ago ~ that I would be blessed to Mother such a sweet and wonderful Spirit. That I would admire and appreciate you for so many reasons. Reasons that could never be simple and perhaps never understood.
So I will leave it at this for now. Knowing words are only words. And I will continue to give you space to grow. As I hope I have always done. And I will continue to watch you and admire you. And I will continue to learn what it is to care about another human being and not have the words tell.
Regardless of how we choose to look at our fears- whether we have caused our own problems or are simply caught in the snares of others’, whether we are blindsided by a sudden crises or have been running from one for a long time-we have three choices…
1. Ignore it and hope it will go away~ It Won’t
2. Try and live with it~ Not Forever
3. Look for the gift within our fear and benefit from it. When we do, we emerge on the other side of life, surprised by joy!
~Taken from the book Excavating your Authentic Self -Sarah Ban Breathnach
