12.02.07
Posted in My Life at 12:10 pm by Administrator
Written to me from my Soul Sister, Stephanie
December 02, 2006
For you this your 40th birthday ought to be a sun overriding all the other stars. Rarely, have I seen resolve such as yours - touching with your gentle laugh the scars yielded in battles you’ve won. Happy birthday, dearest one, precious soul - sister of my heart! We’re one in love and joy, in fondness and worth … and so as one we celebrate this day, your day of birth! Rejoice in your specialness awhile: this I’m not requesting but demanding! How else to make yourself the celebration, doing what doesn’t come naturally? I hope that throughout this month of December, our birth month, you find joy, surprises, laughter and love … all of which you deserve in great abundance … all of which you have shown me since the day we met. To discover my soul-sister throughout the last 4 years has been one of the most wonderful and treasured surprises of all! You make me laugh, regardless of what else may be going on in life. That’s a priceless gift; one I can never repay you for. It’s no secret how much I value laughter in life; you’ve shown me many wonderful laughs, just by being yourself, and saying what’s on your mind. Another Rachel attribute that I admire, and has me wishing I could have more of in my own life. So today, and throughout this month, I celebrate your birth, and my good fortune in finding the precious gift of your friendship. Happy Birthday, Girlfriend! And here’s to many, many more years of friendship and laughter! ~ LYMI!
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11.27.07
Posted in My Life at 2:05 pm by Administrator
It begins with a restless feeling of sorts. Not sure what needs to be cleaned first, but just an overwhelming feeling that my house is a wreck! Company might stop by and not notice anything out of place. But I know. So, I don’t start with the obvious. I head straight for the closets!
When my daughter was still at home and would see me starting, she would joke and say “oh no, mom is in one of her moods.”
In the closet I start at the top shelf, pull out anything I don’t need to keep. Straighten any coats or clothes hanging, once again removing anything sticking out like a sore thumb that I couldn’t possibly wear! Then pulling out everything on the floor. Grab the broom and mop, clean as a whistle and ONLY put back in what belongs. Anything else is trash bound or Bethel Bible Village bound!
When the closets are done ~this means EVERY closet~ I start under the sinks. Then the cabinets in the kitchen. Last but not least, under the bed! Whew! Feeling better all ready! Now into the living room and no, I can’t just straighten up. I must pull out the sofa, the shelving, chairs. All the dog hair is vacuumed, all the dust bunnies put away.
This doesn’t happen often. Maybe it needs to happen more often.
To keep what is hidden even tidier than what people see. So that even if I am the only one going into the closet, I see what is going on. I see if it is a jumbled mess or clean and uncluttered.
On the very rare occasion when I am feeling odd, unbalanced and uncertain, I start in the closets.
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Posted in Inspiration at 4:02 am by Administrator
-By Dale Wimbrow
When you get what you want in your struggle for self, and the world makes you king for a day. Just go to the mirror and look at yourself, and see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your Father or Mother or wife, whose judgment upon you must pass. The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life, is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people may call you a straight shooting chum, and call you a wonderful guy. But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum, if you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest, for he’s with you clear to the end. And you have passed your most dangerous test, if the man in the glass is your friend.
You may face the whole world down the pathway of life, and get pats on the back when you pass. But your final reward will be heartache and strife, if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
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11.21.07
Posted in Inspiration at 7:14 am by Administrator
All relationships have the same basic components: people, needs and expectations. Try as we may to keep the needs and the expectations stuff in order, we usually get so caught up in them that the pure essence of the relationship is lost to what we think we should be doing and what we expect should be done. Sometimes the needs are very real. Other times they are not. Sometimes the expectations are based in solid reality. In most cases, they are not. Sometimes the expectations of having needs met are placed upon us. At other times we place them upon ourselves. What we fail to realize before it is much too late is that when love is the foundation of the relationships, all needs and expectations are met without any effort on our part.
Excerpt from Iyanla Vanzant -In The Meantime
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09.27.07
Posted in My Life at 2:06 am by Administrator
Driving home yesterday after work, I totaled my company vehicle. I have never in my life been in an accident and this one was so messed up! My turning left across three lanes of traffic on what had been a green arrow. Two of the lanes having traffic at a dead stand still while waiting on their light to turn green and the 3rd lane having been empty…until I entered the intersection and noticed a Dodge Durango traveling at a good clip. My thought was “he needs to slow down if he is going to turn right” and at the same time “Shit! He’s not slowing down to turn right!” Yes, getting T-Boned was always in my car accident dreams. This man had to have been going 35MPH to have hit me with the force he did and spin my car around and put me up on the opposite side walk! Spitting glass out of my mouth and shaking it out of my hair I was just thinking “so this is what it is like.” And then a few expletives and a phone call to my boss.
Being home early today gave me a chance to turn on the Maury show. I wanted to be reminded of what real drama is. Not accidents in life itself that stop us from normal routine, but drama that is seemingly created to keep us stirred up. Drama that some people seem to draw into their life to have something -anything- to feel. Or keep from feeling.
All I ask for is reality. Honest, upfront, sometimes confusing and sometimes hurtful reality. I don’t need to make anything up and I am not going to get to avoid it!
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09.11.07
Posted in Inspiration at 12:22 pm by Administrator
Pecan Grove Plantation
Thornton, Louisiana
August 15, 1993 5:30am
Siddalee~
Good God, child! What do you mean, you “don’t know how to love”? Do you think any of us know how to love?! Do you think anybody would ever do anything if they waited until they knew how to love?! Do you think that babies would ever get made or meals cooked or crops planted or books written or what God-damn-have-you? Do you think people would even get out of the bed in the morning if they waited until they knew how to love? You have had too much therapy. Or not enough. God knows how to love, kiddo. The rest of us are only good actors.
Forget love. Try good manners.
~Vivi Abbott Walker
Letter written to Siddalee Walker from her mom, Vivi Walker. Taken from the book Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
Okay, sister, we need to watch this movie again! *smile*
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09.26.06
Posted in Inspiration at 2:22 am by Administrator
In posting the letter - Forget Love and Try Good Manners, from ‘The Divine Secrets Of The Ya Ya Sister Hood’- and doing some reading and contemplating this weekend (how odd *smile*) it has occurred to me how very true the statement is “Forget Love, Try Good Manners.” In observing couples and the way they treat each other…the question posed is “Why do you stay?” The answer invariably is “Because I love him/her.” Give me a break! And, in talking to friends and letting them know that I am dating again and intentionally searching for the love that comes from being connected to another soul, I hear very often ~maybe from the ones that aren’t happy~ “maybe in your search you will realize you are better off single.” I am very well off single. I love being single. I love being independent and self sufficient, I love taking off on a Friday night and doing my thing…not reporting to anyone. But I miss being in a monogamous relationship. I miss the connection to that one other human being that you can count on and has your back no matter what. The one who looks for you and wants to be with you and you with them. Because you enjoy them! Because you want to be in their company! Because you respect them! Because you have compassion and genuinely care what is going on and what happens to them. So, back to my original thought. Love has nothing to do with it if you haven’t learned how to love. If you haven’t learned how to love~in a genuine, honest, thoughtful, you mean the world to me way~ Start with good manners.
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09.17.06
Posted in Encouragement at 6:17 am by Administrator
-Taken from “Excavating Your Authentic Self” by Sarah Ban Breathnach
I wish I’d known from the beginning that I was born a strong woman. What a difference it would have made! I wish I’d known that I was born a courageous woman; I’ve spent so much of my life cowering. How many conversations would I not only have started, but finished, if I had known I possessed a warriors heart? I wish I’d known that I’d been born to take on the world; I wouldn’t have run from it for so long, but run to it with open arms!
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09.10.06
Posted in My Life at 4:13 am by Administrator
In listening to relationship therapists, that seem to be coming out of the woodwork these days, what they seem to be saying to the women and girls are ~You are not a Princess and you are not going to have a Knight in Shining Armor come and rescue you ~End of Fairy Tale. So now what do we do? Re-write?
I am becoming more and more aware, in my search for Mr. Lovely, of how many single moms, in particular, there are. Hence a bigger need for Knights on White Horses but also an increasing number of women who are strong, independent, self sufficient, and in charge of the household. Speaking for myself, this has been an 8 year learning process. One that I have not been happy about at times and one I have actually been very angry about at times. I did not ask to be head of household. I did not ask to raise these kids on my own. I did not ask to be totally in charge and independent.
No wonder men are confused and women are crazy! Nobody knows how to act anymore. All these little girls growing up with the same fairy tales the boys were read. Okay, the same basic story line one was just called Snow White and one was called Robin Hood. Same story, one written from the guys point of view and one written by the damsel-in-distrss herself.
So, we are coming more into a day where we women just need a partner. A loving, respectful, considerate, let me be me and you be you partner. This should take the pressure off the guys to some extent. They no longer have to know how to resuce. They now just have to know how to be a friend. And that would include knowing when to give a hug and knowing when to back off. I just said we didn’t need a rescuer, I never said we weren’t still emotional females.
And you, my man, can still go hunting. Or watch ESPN. Or scratch yourself. Or have your friends over and talk too loud and make disgusting noises. And I will still let you wash the cars and do the yard work. Remember, I agree there are male and female roles. I just can’t do the damsel-in-distress.
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